A little bit of Cathy (and maybe Heathcliff) in all of us

When I first read Wuthering Heights I didn't like it. It was dark, I felt confused, and I wasn't sure I'd read it again.

This time I realized that the main reason I didn't like it was because of Catherine.

I hated how she was so fickle and at times appeared two-faced. "I like Heathcliff. No, I like Edgar. No Heathcliff is really the one for me. " "I want to be a proper society woman." "No, I don't care what people think." "I want a stable and financially sound life" "No, I just want to run away." etc.

But I realized that maybe we all have a little bit of Catherine in us. Sometimes we like to follow the rules: go to church, be proper, go for the "safe and reliable" guy. Sometimes we just want to scream because the properness is suffocating us. Sometimes we want to run away to nature, escape the structure that society has placed on us, and of course run to the arms of the dark and handsome rebel.

Recently I wished that I could abandon the society that I am in. I am tired of trying to be the typical wife. I am tired of what is expected of me. I am frustrated that I don't get as much help as I would like.

Two things are keeping me in check: Buddy and the promises I have made.

Not that there is a Heathcliff in my life (for which I am glad - I don't like greasy, hairy, weird guys). I am just tired of feeling the suffocation that is coming from being tied down to this life.

So I guess I should cut Catherine some slack. The grass does seem greener on the other side sometimes.